Latitude Lassitude

In the northern latitudes, January heralds the coldest temperatures. Without going into the details of thermal equilibrium, blame the angle of the sun, ambient temperatures and, as polar plungers know, lower water temperatures.

The cold causes hibernation in fauna and endodormancy in flora. Man fares worse in winter. Our vestigial instinct bids us to increase caloric intake, hunker down and sleep out the season.

But, nooooo! Modern society tolerates no respite. We pursue insidious pressures to satiate the maw of Mammon. The 21st century has transformed the rat race into a rung wheel. Like Sisyphus, we labor futilely.

So, how do we keep the blues at bay until the vernal equinox proclaims the return of Ostara? I could pontificate on Seasonal Affective Disorder, light therapy, vitamin D and exercise, ad infinitum. But that is much too practical.


I combat the weather's weariness with words. January marks the birth of two of my favorite authors, Jack London and Lewis Carroll. I focus on London's work from his Yukon adventures. To Build a Fire and Call of the Wild, read on a cold night wrapped in a warm blanket lessens the sting of he season's frigid fury. While Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass offer escapism and the delight of word play.

Of course, you can always look forward to January 28 - National Kazoo Day. What better way to beat winter's blues than to place a membranophone between your lips and hum the humdrum from your mind? When SAD threatens to cause pain to my brain, I grab the kazoo, don my most colorful raiment and march through the neighborhood playing John Philip Sousa.

If nothing else, the gaping looks of the confused, somewhat annoyed, neighbors is sure to warm the cockles.  As ever - BB

"Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Carroll

Mummer from Mars

A new year approaches and with New Year's Day comes the Philadelphia tradition of the Mummers' Parade. It's rich history goes back to the Middle Ages and the mummer plays. (laic celebrations not to be confused with the religious mystery plays of the same period)

The first semblance of mummers in Philly came in the late 17th century with the original Swedish settlers. On December 26, they would dress as clowns and shoot their guns in the air.

Through the 18th century, the tradition continued. In 1778, the mummers regaled  occupying British troops. Major Andre (later infamous for his involvement with Benedict Arnold's treason) described Philadelphia's new year antics as "a gay and glorious spectacle."

The 19th century brought two important additions from the southern states. The Negro spiritual "Oh Dem Golden Slippers (the Mummers' theme song) and the cake walk known in Philly as the Mummers Strut. The parade goers began to organize and the Mummers Parade  became an official event by 1901. It continues today though in 2009, it was shortened from 11 hours to 6.5 hours. I really miss those 4.5 hours!

In 1968, jazz key board player/composer, Sun Ra moved from New York City to the Germantown section of Philadelphia. I always wondered if the Mummers' outfits had an affect on the costumes worn by Sun Ra and his Arkestra. Born Herman Blount in Alabama in 1914, Ra performed all jazz genres, from ragtime, to swing, to bebop to free jazz.

Sometime between 1936-37, while in what he calls a religious concentration, Herman Blount experienced a blinding light and then was teleported to Saturn. There an alien race informed him that  he as not a human, but one of them. His mission on earth was to create music which would transform the world. Sun Ra became aware of his true form.

Over the years, his Arkestra has played across the world spreading his philosophy and his music to us earthlings. In this new year, listen to the music of the cosmos as interpreted by Sun Ra - truly a Mummer from Mars. As ever - BB

When told by a fellow musician that Sun Ra's music was just too far out, Thelonious Monk said: "Yeah, but it swings!"

Oh, a wise guy!

I cannot think of the term wise guy without hearing Curly Howard's voice intoning that phrase. During this season, images of the three wise men adorn churches and homes. In my youth, I'd hear the Christmas carol and wonder where Orientar was, and why it needed three kings.

Learning the correct lyrics, I began researching these wise guys, aka the Magi. To me the Orient was China and Japan. The root of the word was Latin, oriri, meaning to rise. Orient literally means from the rising sun. Their origin was east of Bethlehem.

So, where does the term magi come, and how does it relate to the nativity?  Even as a kid, I noticed the word's similarity to magic. Were they sorcerers? Off to that etymological treasure trove, the Oxford English Dictionary. The Haddonfield library had a large version on a pedestal with a magnifying glass attached to see the minuscule print. At that age, I needed to stand on a chair to read it. 

Magi, the plural form of magnus, was used by the ancient Greeks as a name for  the priestly caste of Persia who followed Zoroaster. This name reminded me of my favorite caped/masked hero who made the sign of the Z.  My study transformed into a Russian nesting doll. Each answer uncovered another question. I was confused, yet fascinated.


After hours of perusing the library, I found out the Magi, known for their knowledge of astronomy (which made sense "following yonder star") were wise, learned men who presented royal gifts to the prince of peace. Feeling fulfilled, I went on with my life as an 11-year-old.


Years later I discovered that I had not delved far enough into that nesting doll of knowledge. In his gospel, Matthew never mentioned the number of Magi. Three was deduced from the number of gifts. So the trio was pure conjecture. Theories abound. They came from as close as Syria, or a far as China, if they existed at all.


A later translation calls them kings to stress the divinity of Jesus alluding to a psalm which says that even kings would kneel before the messiah. This is also the tract that led to the Roman Catholic aerobics of bobbing up and down on our knees during mass. The magic-magi connection comes from the prejudice that those with different beliefs must be evil practitioners of sorcery and witchcraft. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! 


A suspicious, cynical kernel began pollinating in my psyche which continues growing to this day.


At 17, I read Thus Spake Zarathustra by Nietzche. (Zoroaster being the English translation of his Avestan name) An obtuse and difficult read, the book exposed ideas counter to much of my religious training. I had an epiphany and grasped the Shakespearian quote, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."


What's all this have to do with carols and Christmas? I have no idea. Muddled musings and discombobulated doggerel indeed. Happy Holidays - as ever BB


"One must have chaos within oneself, to give birth to a dancing star." - Friedrich Nietzche from Thus Spake Zarathustra

What's the Password?

Sometimes when trying to remember a password, I feel like I'm trapped in a Marx Brothers skit.

Passwords - I have them for this blog, for my work computer, my home computer, my phone, work alarm, home alarm, facebook, ebay, zappos, gmail...the list is endless.

In the late 50s, my father joined the Knights of Columbus to network and help expand his medical practice. He did not remain a member long. Years later I asked him why. He said, "You needed a password to get into one door, then another, then another. I couldn't keep them straight and got tired of that childish foolishness."


I don't know why they just didn't use a simple hand gesture like the He-Man Woman Hater's Club. Dad would not want to cope in our digital world. And I'd understand his dissent. My gag reflex triggers every time I struggle to remember my plethora of passwords.

Not to mention the security concerns. Don't use birthdays or other important dates, don't use your name or nickname, use some uppercase letters, use some numbers, but none of those previously mentioned.

To help me in this morass of minutia, I've created a password formula. I take the latitude of the geographic location of the device requiring the password as the exponent. Then I create a logarithm using the number of ingredients of my guacamole recipe as the base to create a number. Next, I use the alpha equivalent of each odd number and alternate upper and lower case of the aforementioned letters. I turn this into a mnemonic so it's easy to remember.

As a public service, I have shared this formula to assist you with this problematic password predicament. - as ever BB

"A four-year-old could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old. I can't make heads nor tails out of it." - Groucho Marx in Duck Soup

Movies Of Christmas Past

Containers of leftovers stacked in the fridge mark Thanksgiving's passing and the approach of Christmas's apoplectic apex. Tis the season for the celebratory cinephile to emerge. Everyone has their favorite holiday movie, but my taste goes to the more bizarre. less popular films. Imagine that?


Here are my bizarro Top Five:
1. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) - Odd, but I remember being 10 and watching this at the Westmont Theater on a rainy weekend afternoon just before Christmas. That would have been 1964. Could this have gone right to kids' matinee fodder? Probably, it's a very bad film. So bad, I just have to see it whenever it airs, usually on Mystery Science Theater. Great trivia - an 8-year-old Pia Zadora plays the Martian girl


2. Go (1999) - A strange film with three intertwined story lines jumping between LA and Las Vegas involving a drug deal. Now that says Christmas! Timothy Olyphant plays a santa-hat wearing drug dealer who kidnaps Katie Holmes - Mondo Outre.


3. A Christmas Wish (also released as The Great Rupert - 1950) - This movie gives bad a bad name. However it has two redeeming factors. The first is the film's hero, Rupert, a trained squirrel. Rupert is done in stop motion animation. The second is a scene in which Jimmy Durante performs his classic Inka Dinka Doo. Good night Mrs. Calabash, where ever you are! The film was produced by the great George Pal known for such sci-fi classics as The Time Machine and The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao. 

4. The Ref (1994) A black comedy with Denis Leary, Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey that always tickles my funny bone. My favorite scene is when burglar/intruder, Leary, has Spacey and Davis tied up in their bedroom. They are still bickering about what the family needs. Leary says, "You know what this family needs? A f**kin' mute!"






5. We're No Angels (1955) This is my favorite Christmas movie of all time. Humphrey Bogart, Aldo Ray, and Peter Ustinov, prisoners on Devil's Island, stumble into the village's general store during their escape attempt. They end up befriending the hapless shopkeeper (Leo G. Carroll) and his family. Luckily villainous Uncle Andre (Basil Rathbone) shows up as the focus of their murderous larceny.


I present these for your edification and the chance to experience something deliciously different this holiday season, . As ever - BB




"We came here to rob them and that's what we're gonna do - beat their heads in, gouge their eyes out, slash their throats. Soon as we wash the dishes." - Humphrey Bogart as Joseph in We're No Angels

Giving Thanks

As we approach Thanksgiving Day, my musing turns to giving thanks. Past blogs concerning this holiday have focused on arcane trivia and myths. This year I will reflect on that for which I am grateful. Of course, I must include some arcana. What did you expect...rubber biscuit?

What constitutes the first Thanksgiving on this continent blurs in the mist of time. In 1565, Spanish gave thanks for their settlement in St. Augustine, FLA. In 1578, Martin Frobisher, held a formal Thanksgiving after he and his crew survived a perilous journey from England to the northern Canadian coastline searching for the Northwest passage. Another was staged in 1607 in Jamestown, Va. and there again in 1619. In 1620, the Pilgrims gave thanks for landing safely in Novus Orbis. Many looking for a fresh start in this land gave thanks after their arduous adventure.

These were not celebrations, but religious services. They thanked the Lord for success in uncertain lands with dangerous risks. What we call the first Thanksgiving, held in the Plymouth Plantation in 1621, was more a Harvest Home festival. Rather than fasting and prayers, it involved feasting and merrymaking.

In the 390 years since that event, Americans have done what we do best. We have adapted, absorbed and morphed other traditions into a unique amalgamation - the American Thanksgiving. We have also done what we do worst - commercialized and corrupted it into a pre-Christmas, ubercapitalistic sell-a-thon. But thy focus begets thy vision. I will endeavor to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and won't mess with Mr. InBetween.

Giving thanks is the keynote of the season. It have much to be thankful for, but will abridge my list to the most important.  First on that list is my muse, Kristin. Next is family and friends. Without your mirth, love and joi de vivre, life would be just existence. So thank you all - as ever BB

"Rejoicing in our joy, not suffering over our suffering, makes someone a friend." - Friedrich Nietzsche


PS - on a more selfish note, I would not have been fortunate enough to experience the exhilaration and satisfaction of performing in front of an audience without the support of my friends and my muse. A special thank you for that - this is a photo of my gig at Leadbetters this past Saturday.

Homage

From Old English, via French,  homage was originally a feudal oath of fealty. Contemporarily, it can mean a tribute to a person or style. One obvious example can be seen in  Spielberg's salute to the cliff-hanger serials of the 30's and 40's, Raiders of the Lost Ark.


A less obvious tribute is The Coen brothers, The Big Lebowski.  This cult classic makes obeisance to the 1946 film, The Big Sleep, based on Raymond Chandler's novel . I came across this while researching my guise for last weekend's Americanized celebration of Samhain. Upon reflection, the similarities became apparent. My dismay at not realizing this on my own still haunts me.


Both concern the blackmail situation of a wheelchair-bound millionaire involving two of his household's alluring, yet iniquitous females (both daughters in Sleep, a daughter and trophy wife in Lebowski). My favorite cinematic twist involves the protagonists - Philip Marlowe, the street-wise, clever private dick and the Dude,  the stoner slacker.


In Chandler's book, Geiger, the used-book seller, who becomes an early murder victim, is involved in pornography. The 1946 movie ignored this to avoid running afoul of the industry's Hays commission. The Coen brothers allude to this with pornographer Jackie Strayhorn. As for the nihilists, what story isn't embellished with negation of one or more putatively meaningful aspects of life. To quote the Dude, that must be exhausting.


Other small nods to Sleep exist in Lebowski. One of my favorites, is the PI who tails the protagonist. In the 1946 film, this character is played by Elisha Cook, Jr. In the 1998 film, Jon Polito plays the part. He refers to the Dude as a brother shamus. This 20's slang of unknown origin for a private eye is used several times by Bogie.


As a street-wise, clever stoner slacker, I appreciate how these similarities tie the films together - kind of like a nice rug - as ever BB


"If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come." - Raymond Chandler