Pun Intended

Bernadette stared at the charred edges of the cape in her hands. “We were lucky, fortunate, charmed. That could have been our demise, the end, finito.”

Billy began to chuckle then stifled it under her angry gaze. Bernie’s habit of tripling synonyms always amused him and inspired her superhero persona, Thesaurus Girl. “You’re right. We need to find flame-proof fabric for our costumes,” he said.

“It’s not just that,” she rejoined. “We need to prepare better. We’re always going off half-cocked, flat-footed, off guard. That’s dangerous, perilous, risky.” Biting his tongue to hold back the snicker, he nodded agreement. Since that first day, her acceptance of his mission astounded him.

Two days after the “cable incident” unleashed his super powers, Billy wandered across the street to Boots Saloon. The red letters once read, GO-GO GIRLS, but years ago the “S” had fallen off the sign. It had never been replaced which was apropos as the bar never had more than one girl per shift. Bernadette worked afternoons and Gwen nights. A variety of wigs, costumes and noms de danse gave the pretense of new dancers.

Billy stared into a beer as Bernie sat at his table. Maybe he was still woozy from the incident, or maybe he just needed to tell someone. He started babbling about his new found power and using it to fight crime in the neighborhood. Perhaps vocalizing his idea could somehow convince him of its folly.

When he finished, Billy raised his head expecting scorn or ridicule. Instead, her eyes burned with intensity. “That’s just what we need around here. But book smarts alone won’t cut it. I can be your aide, your assistant, your sidekick,” Bernie said.

He’d seen her strength and agility while pole dancing, but crime fighting? She proceeded to tell him how dancing had led to yoga, then kickboxing, then several different martial arts. Their partnership was formed.

Back in their basement lair, Thesaurus Girl opened her laptop to search for flameproof material. Billy idly leafed through the city paper. The half-page ad grabbed his attention. “We may not have time for new costumes,” he said.

Bernie looked up as he handed her the paper. The large bold type jumped out at her.

Looking for a warm reception? Lumber on down to The Trap!

For more information call 1-A-HOT TIME 

Ask for loquacious lad or garrulous girl

A PUNSTER ENTERPRISE

Bernie quickly dialed the number on her cell phone and a machine answered. “Hello dynamic dimwits. I knew you'd call. You dolts just detonated another devious device. You’ve got twenty minutes until it explodes. Did you hear about the dictionary that fell into the river?” The line went dead.

“What the hell does that mean?” asked Thesaurus Girl.

“It’s a pun. The dictionary was un-a-bridged,” responded Dictionary Man. “The bomb is under a bridge, but which one? The clock’s ticking, so there’s no time to prepare. Looks like our modus operandi is to be half-cocked, flat-footed, off guard.”

Thesaurus Girl shot him a nasty look as she grabbed her singed costume to once again face the Punster.

Will our heroes find the bomb and get there in time to defuse it? Tune in again for further adventures of the discourse duo.