What's the Password?

Sometimes when trying to remember a password, I feel like I'm trapped in a Marx Brothers skit.

Passwords - I have them for this blog, for my work computer, my home computer, my phone, work alarm, home alarm, facebook, ebay, zappos, gmail...the list is endless.

In the late 50s, my father joined the Knights of Columbus to network and help expand his medical practice. He did not remain a member long. Years later I asked him why. He said, "You needed a password to get into one door, then another, then another. I couldn't keep them straight and got tired of that childish foolishness."


I don't know why they just didn't use a simple hand gesture like the He-Man Woman Hater's Club. Dad would not want to cope in our digital world. And I'd understand his dissent. My gag reflex triggers every time I struggle to remember my plethora of passwords.

Not to mention the security concerns. Don't use birthdays or other important dates, don't use your name or nickname, use some uppercase letters, use some numbers, but none of those previously mentioned.

To help me in this morass of minutia, I've created a password formula. I take the latitude of the geographic location of the device requiring the password as the exponent. Then I create a logarithm using the number of ingredients of my guacamole recipe as the base to create a number. Next, I use the alpha equivalent of each odd number and alternate upper and lower case of the aforementioned letters. I turn this into a mnemonic so it's easy to remember.

As a public service, I have shared this formula to assist you with this problematic password predicament. - as ever BB

"A four-year-old could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old. I can't make heads nor tails out of it." - Groucho Marx in Duck Soup