The Serial Begins...

Trapped in an abandoned sawmill, Dictionary Man racks his brain for a way out. Usually, these situations called for Thesaurus Girl’s supple strength. Regrettably, she sat tied behind him still unconscious from the knockout gas.

This time, he would have to rescue them from a dastardly demise. By his calculation, they had about 15 minutes before the incendiary device ignited. Dictionary Man couldn’t help but admire the simplicity of his nemesis’ plan. Fire, accelerated by the aged sawdust and wood scraps, would burn quickly. The ensuing inferno would consume their superhero costumes, the wooden chair and ropes holding them; leading investigators to assume the charred remains were just an unfortunate homeless couple.

He thought back to the time before he donned his mask & cape. Had it been only five months ago? Life as Billy Driscoll, the meek, shy clerk at Webster’s Bookstore seemed a distant past. Located in a run-down section of town, the store was as old and decrepit as its octogenarian owner. Mr. Webster lived upstairs and allowed Billy to stay rent-free in the basement.

Billy didn’t mind the pittance he earned for he got to spend his time surrounded by books. At night, he’d descend into his subterranean den with his only valuable possession, a compact Oxford English Dictionary. All 20 volumes condensed into one book. Nine pages combined on a single page with print so small it could only be read by a magnifying glass.

One fateful, stormy night, he had the bright idea to splice into some free, though illegal, cable. Under the cover of darkness, he climbed the pole outside and surreptitiously ran the cable through the basement window. As he spiced the cable onto the connector, it happened.

From what he pieced together later, lightening hit the pole, traveled through the wire and threw him onto the magnifying glass sitting atop the OED. He awoke hours later with a blinding headache, the cable still tightly grasped in his hand, an egg-shaped blister on the back of his neck and a similar-sized burn on the cover of the OED.

Over the next few days, he began to notice the change. An electrical charge had traveled through him. Enhanced by the convex glass, it somehow transferred the information in this massive tome through his medulla oblongata to his cerebellum. All the knowledge of that voluminous lexicon was embedded into his brain creating Dictionary Man.

The rat’s chittering snapped him out of his woolgathering. This genus of the family Muridae could be their salvation…that and Thesaurus Girl’s sweet tooth. Scraping his wrists raw against the taut ropes, he wriggled into the hidden pocket of her cape finding the morsels he sought. He flung one gummy bear towards the rodent and began rubbing others on the ropes.

As the rattus norvegicus began his feast, several other furry friends appeared. Dictionary Man’s confidence in their acute olfactory sense was not misguided. Within seconds several climbed over Thesaurus Girl and began gnawing the ropes. Billy couldn’t help chucking, knowing her aversion to rats. Thankfully, she remained unconscious.

Dictionary Man broke free, and dragged Thesaurus Girl towards the door. Just then the incendiary engulfed the entire structure in flames.

Can our heroes elude the infernal inferno? Tune in again for the further adventures of the periphrastic pair!